Being single can come with great rewards, privileges, and challenges. If you are someone who desires to have companionship and you keep wondering why you are meeting the same type of individual, receiving the same type of treatment, or producing the same types of results, then here are 13 reasons that may better equip you with landing that solid and very blessed union.
1) You do not listen or compromise. Sometimes it is better to listen with your spirit to what the other person is trying to relay to you, rather than trying to get your point across or better yet, solely believing your view point. Be open to admitting that you are not the picture of perfection and learn to compromise with your mate. What they are crying out to you, those subtle warnings that they are sharing with you, are their true feelings!
2) You think you are supportive, but you are not. Are you making time to encourage your mate? Are you sharing with them that they are amazing in your eyes? Are you (when you are able) physically helping your mate achieve their goals? Everyone needs support and love. If your pride prohibits you from saying gracious words to your better half, then it could potentially be creating road blocks. When a person knows that their companion is supporting them, then they will work even harder at or in the relationship.
3) You carry your emotions on your sleeve. Sometimes it is not good to be emotional all the time. Do you have an attitude? Are you moody (especially when you are hungry or if you are a woman on your cycle)? Are you bitter? Defensive? Insecure? I challenge you to stop today, because you are running your better half off.
4) You are not affectionate? If you are trying to make the decision to be with someone special for the rest of your life, then you need to express the love that you carry for them. Let them know that you love them, so they will not feel insecurities or doubts about the relationship. Do you hold hands? Do you kiss? Do you hold one another often? Are you romantic? Do you make your loved one feel secure? Have you created a consistent date night?
Sometimes individuals will play it off and say they do not care if they hold hands or so on, but the truth of the matter is, they may have been raised in a non-affectionate home or are use to other individuals not sharing the love. Once a person feels the love that you have for them and vice versa, it brings the two of you closer together.
5) You are compromising? If you know you are not attracted to someone, move on! If you know you do not love them, move on! If you are simply with someone because you are getting older or for security reasons, move on! Please do not steal someone else’s time and energy. It is an unfair and very selfish situation that will only lead to a hurtful and/or painful ending. God has a loving individual destined for you and the person you are compromising with. Sometimes we get in the way of God’s perfect design and we implement wasted years to learn a lesson that we could have passed at the very beginning. Do the honorable thing and let them go without fear. Why? Because you are simply taking on the role of an imposter and you are traveling on the wrong life pathway. Get back on your road, so you can live a life without regret and flourish without resentment.
6) Your communication is sloppy! If you do not communicate well the relationship is doomed from the start. Great communication lets that individual know that you will protect them, they can trust you, you can work out tough situations without arguing, and you can be friends as well. Take some communication therapy classes, attend some seminars, or practice on family and friends, it is well worth it.
7) You don’t have your own thing going on! Get your own THING! When someone does not have their own hobby or career, it can dull the relationship and/or cause resentment if the other person has a fulfilling career or extracurricular lifestyle. When you are involved in something you love outside of a relationship, you become more attractive to your mate. It gives them room to encourage and support you on a extended level.
8) You sweat the small stuff! Nagging, fussing, playing devil’s advocate, or catching an attitude is a turn off. Life is too short. Let me share that again, life is too short! You only have a limited time on earth and an even more limited time with a wonderful companion. Do not use your time sweating the small stuff, but appreciating each and every moment you have with one another. Remember, one day you may be without that mate again in your elder years. Love on them daily right now.
9) Your personal fantasy or perception is in the way! You have an idea of what your mate should look like, act like, and so on. You have carried a perception of how your relationship should take place and you are not open to releasing that perception and excepting what is really good for you. Your mate may not be anything you imagined, but that is okay. Sometimes what we imagine is not good for us and what walks into our lives is even better. Be open to letting go of your perception and allowing someone different to enter your world.
10 ) You are controlling or vindictive! How in the world are you going to control a grown adult? An individual needs to feel free in the relationship and not like they are with a parent or an insecure mate. They also do not desire to be with someone who wants to teach them a lesson if things did not go their way or one companion did not like something the other companion did. Many times your mate is not making mistakes on purpose and definitely not to hurt you. Trust, love, and be forgiving towards your companion. Carry this trust and faith in your mate unless they show you different. Allow your companion to breathe and LIVErefreshed in the relationship.
11) You keep picking the same type of person! If it is broke, why do you keep trying to fix it? If a person shows you a certain mannerism or shares with you something openly that is a deal breaker, take it for what it is. They are telling or showing you the truth. Do not believe you will be able to change them or that you are not worthy of the best. Start believing that you are worthy to be with an amazing person and be patient! It will come!
12) You listen to your friends! Nine times our of ten your friends are not looking out for your best interest. Believe it or not studies show that friends say they are happy for you, but subconsciously they are sabotaging your relationship with ill advice, because they do not want you to be happier than they are. Or better yet, they want you to stay single with them. Never share what is going on in your relationship with friends, unless there is physical abuse, sickness, or some other type of ill treatment in which you need outside help, therapy, or support. In a nut shell, keep it between you and your mate. They will love you more for respecting the relationship. The two of you must learn how to journey together without involving family and friends in your most intimate experiences.
13) You are comparing your past with your present! Sometimes individuals are seeking the good qualities from a past relationship to also be in their present relationship. No one wants to be compared to a past love. Everyone is unique in their own way and pulling those good qualities that you liked from a past poor relationship, is never healthy in your present relationship.
I hope you are encouraged! From the Inspirational thoughts of Jennifer Hopson